Three little moments

There are three "little" moments in my life that I regret. I say "little" because trust me, after you read them, you'll wonder why they bother me so much. I'm sure I have more substantial guilty moments, but it's most likely I have subconsciously buried those away. (And for those who knew me in high school, I've never regretted any of those Marillac moments - those were "classic," fun, and rebellious times.) But these three moments resurface every once in awhile and cause me to relive that regretful moment.

They are in order from regretful to most regretful:

3. cordless phone

During my college years, I went to visit a friend at a school in Minnesota. After a very long night of drinking at a local bar with her and some other friends, we called for a taxi from a public pay phone. Over an hour had passed and still no taxi had arrived. Conversation came to a lull, and we were tired and bored. I began fiddling through my purse just so that I could have something to do instead of just sitting there. My friend saw this tiny little pocket scissor in my purse and started to make fun of it. She asked, "what could you possibly cut with this dinky dull little scissor?" It was tiny, about 2 inches in length. She continued to poke fun of it. And after having quite a few drinks that night, I felt that I had to defend my pocket scissor. So, I told her that it could cut lots of things: besides paper, it could cut cardboard, plastic, and any cloth material. Of course, I had never tried cutting any of those things with those scissors. Defending the little scissor just made her laugh even more. I grew more irritated, so I said, "watch, I can cut this metal and wire." And I began to cut the wire cord that connected the receiver to the public phone. No, they were not impressed. And they were not amused. All I heard was, "oh, great, now we can't even call back the cab company to find out when our taxi is coming." Guilt, shame and embarrassment came over me. I've never destroyed public property before that moment, or ever since then. In the current world of iphones and blackberrys, it's a rarity that you see a public phone these days, which is a good thing, so I'm not reminded of that dumb moment very often.

2. paper trail, paper chase

Once a month I go see my acupuncturist and before each appointment, I go to the ladies' room. I've learned the hard way that when you have a full bladder, it's no fun trying to carefully squirm around while being a human pin cushion.

So, here's the story. My acupuncturist's office is in a very large mix-use building: condos for the old and rich, doctor's offices, grocery store, restaurant, and many other little shops. The ladies room is on the first floor, along a very very long hallway with a few little stores situated on each side of the hallway. One afternoon, right before my appointment, I was in the washroom and had walked out of a bathroom stall. As I approached the sink with my hands stretched out ready to wash, I stopped in my tracks. I saw a woman drying her hands by the paper towel dispenser. She had a trail of toilet paper coming out of her pants. The paper trailed out of her pants and reached about halfway down the back of her thigh. At the same time, another woman came out of a stall and gave me a strange look because I was just standing there and she was probably thinking, "eeew gross, she's one of those who doesn't wash her hands afterwards." The woman with the paper trail was headed for the door. I was torn - do I walk away from the sink and approach the paper trail lady to let her know? But if I walked away from the sink without washing, I would be stigmatized as one of those people. Ahhhhhhh, need to make a decision. (Mind you, all of this is occurring within seconds. And I am a slow decision maker. It takes me many minutes of contemplation to decide between very fine, fine or medium point when purchasing a ballpoint pen). So, I quickly washed my hands, grabbed a paper towel and hoped that I would catch the woman and quietly tell her about her paper trail. I opened the door and looked both directions to figure out which way she went. She had made it half way down that long long hallway. She was walking fast, which made that little white tail of hers wag back and forth in the air. Ahhhhhhh, how am I going to catch her in my darn 3 ½" wedge sandals? And so the paper chase began. I took off and walked/ran as best as I could in my wedges. I got lots of crazy looks for trying to run in those heels. All of a sudden, I lost sight of the paper trail lady. She had turned the corner by the elevators. I finally made it around the corner and was hoping she was standing there, alone, waiting for an elevator. But no. There was no paper trail lady in sight. She either made it out the doors into the city streets or she was on an elevator. I just hoped she was in the elevator and caught a reflection of her white tail in the mirrored walls of the elevator. I know karma is coming to get me and that is why I will always double and triple check my rear in the mirror before I leave a washroom.

1. his last ride

I am not the most patient driver out there. Yes, I admit I will tailgate people at times and I will weave in and out of traffic lanes. One time I even had a man drive up next to me and with a kind concerned face, he slowly lowered his hand to signal me to slow down my driving. Well, what I'm about to tell you is not one of my best moments. This happened quite a few years ago and I still remember it well and still feel sad and regretful.

I was driving north on the Edens Expressway in the far left lane on a busy weekend afternoon. And of course, in front of me was a car going 55 mph. I drove for a little bit behind this car, hoping he would change lanes. But he did not . He continued at his slow speed, so I decided to tailgate, to give him the hint that you should not go 55 on the far left lane. The man did not appreciate me tailgating him so he slowed down to 45 mph. Hello, 45 mph in the far left lane?! I was very irritated at this point and I could not change lanes because there was a black car next to me and after that car there was another one closely trailing behind. I decided that after the black car passed me, I would make a quick lane change and cut off the car behind the black one. So, I made my quick move to the middle lane and my heart raced a little because that was a close squeeze. All of sudden I realized who I had cut off. Right in front of me is a hearse - I had cut in front of the grieving family of the dead person in front of me!! In front of me is a hearse with a coffin, behind me is a black limousine with the grieving family, and behind the black limousine was a procession of cars with their waving funeral flags. I just screamed - "oh, no, oh my god!" I couldn't change lanes because the dumb 45 mph car was to the left of me (probably getting a good laugh) and to the right of me was one of those megabus. So, out of embarrassment and sorrow, I just scrunched down in my seat and lowered my head as low as I could, kept driving, and kept screaming, "oh, no!" I could not change lanes and it felt like I was in the funeral procession for 20 miles, but in reality it was probably a half of a mile. The megabus finally passed me up and I quickly changed lanes and took the next exit off the expressway so that I wouldn't have to face the looks of the grieving family and friends. That night and many nights after that, I said a little prayer asking forgiveness for intruding on his last ride to his final destination.